LDR – what did I learn?

What is certain is that being in a long distance relationship is not easy. In general, being in any relationship is not easy either, but here you need more determination, self-denial, a desire to change and many other factors so that it does not fall apart. Yes, sometimes it goes crazy, but I will say it out loud = if there is no love, there’s no connection. If two people love each other, there is no force that prevents them from being together. If you really want something, dress up comfortable shoes, roll up your sleeves and get to work!
We are not the first (and not the last) couple to be at this stage of their lives. Millions of people around the world live this way and are doing well. If they can, so can we! And you t

oo! Currently we are 1 year and 7 months in LDR. If you want to read more, you will find links to previous articles below.

Patience


My biggest drawback. My mom always said I was bathed in hot water. I can’t disagree with that. Being in a long distance relationship for a person like me is a challenge. Nothing brings me out of balance like waiting. Sitting on my ass and waiting for something to happen is totally not for me. I like to take life into my own hands and have the power to do it. Unfortunately, sometimes it is impossible to speed things up.. and there is nothing left but to wait.

With a clear conscience, I can say that I see a huge difference in myself. I’m not as raptus as I used to be. I can master and not roll my eyes when I lack a little patience.

Live the moment


Maybe it sounds a little strange, but seriously.. do not memorize all the time what was and what will be. You know, remember, but don’t stick to it as I used to skirt of my Mom.

I’m still working on it and it’s not easy, but I’m trying to focus on what’s here and now. If I sat in the window all the time, she would remember the moments together endlessly and wait for her knight to return home.. i wouldn’t be where I am now. I certainly wouldn’t run a blog and i wouldn’t meet so many great people. Therefore.. Move, have fun, discover and learn new things! Again, I will abandon the deep text, but life does not last forever. No one will give you those days, months or years you have spent waiting, remembering and worrying about. There is still time for everything.


Refresh your life

There’s nothing worse than a Friday night, you’re sitting in pyjama and you don’t know what to do with yourself when, on the other side of the world, your better half is playing at a party. There was a time when my life looked like this: work-house, house-work. And David, every weekend he drove somewhere, and it was a bachelor party, then a wedding of friends, and it’s a party, meeting old friends, visiting his parents and so every week, and I was sitting at home and all I thought about was that I wasn’t there with Him, that we couldn’t experience these cool things together. It was a mega-depressing experience. In the end, I decided that I needed to do something and started to focus more on what it is now. I started thinking about myself first.. it was a time when I realized that if not now then when? I read all the book backlogs, refreshed old acquaintances, met new people and focused more on the blog – I became more active in every area of life. When I was busy and absorbed in my activities, I stopped thinking that I was here and He was there. The fact that I focused more on myself and my needs also helped me to overcome other difficulties in the LDR. An additional advantage was that it made our conversations richer – we both had a lot to say and our relationship got closer.


Communication

One of the most important skills. There are people who won’t have the slightest problem with it, and there will also be people who will need time to learn how to communicate with each other. Don’t fool yourself, at a distance it’s definitely harder. A phone call is not the same as talking to a man sitting next to us. In general, there was never a problem between me and David. Everything, as a rule, was going on with its rhythm. We’ve always talked about everything. We went through all the stages of the talks – it was about the as well as about the important issues that needed to be discussed.

Of course, there are such days (I also had them) that I was just tired and did not feel like talking to anyone, even with D. And from experience I know that there is nothing to force. If you don’t feel like talking, be honest and tell your other half about it. Take a breather.

When I had those days (when I didn’t want to talk), I thought something was wrong with me.. well because like this, you do not want to talk to a loved one who is thousands of kilometers away – a disgrace and scandal what? Well, no! Everyone sometimes needs a moment for themselves and that’s perfectly normal.


Troubleshooting

Without good communication, there is no good relationship. If there are quarrels, you can say that you are far away in the forest. – on the phone it is difficult to have hard conversations. Quarrel at a distance?It happened to me several times that in a rush of emotions, I threw the handset. But I must admit that this is one of the worst solutions. All in all, it’s no solution to the problem, it’s just an escape. The problem persists, and there is still a distance. I’m defi
nitely not the type of person who gets angry for a long time. I like to solve problems right away – getting angry and not addressing myself is not for me. It bothers me mercilessly. Being in a distance relationship doesn’t make it any easier. Distance is not our ally, but you have to accept it.

The more you talk, the more you get to know yourself. And the more you know yourself, the easier it is to build a strong relationship. If you make a habit of talking about what worries you, hurts or annoys you, then later it will be much easier.


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If any of you feel unsasy. I highly recommend the article of a girl who is also in a relationship at a distance.. before I wrote this post, I did some discernment on the internet to see who met with what pros. It turned out that not only did I come to such conclusions – which was a pleasant surprise to me. The fact that I, for example, was jealous of David’s colleagues was normal to me.. but for Him it seemed a bit strange.. thanks to this site I was able to show Him that not only I have such a point of view. 🙂

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If you would like to share your story, feel safe to write. Or do you know the advice of how to live in a relationship at a distance? Be sure to let us know!

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